You wanna eff with me ..

codered085 @ 2007-03-18T06:12:00

2007-03-18T10:33:54Z

I love how lyrics imitate life. Movies too. There are always either the movies or songs that always seem to be there that describe exactly how you're feeling and it some how brings comfort. They tell you that you aren't the only one feeling the things you are, they give you power to face the world, and they help put things into words when sometimes you just can't find the way to get what you need to out.

While at times I feel like I am alone trying to figure thing out or at times trying to fool people that I am the happiest person that they will ever meet, I feel like I am dyinng inside. Half the time I don't believe the good things people say about me and I try not to believe I am one of those people that block out "real" emotions people have for me so I will not get hurt, but unfortunatly, I think I am.

Apparently there are a lot of things I have to figure out in my life before I can totally be better about things. It sucks though that people, epecially those of the opposite sex that you are trying to impress, can tell when you aren't comfortable with yourself (I guess sometimes I'm not as good at hiding things as I thought I was.)

PS: To Guys:
Never comment on the bad things you think about girls to us, like our weight, looks, or apparel. We are all self conscious enough without the people (basically, guys) we are constantly trying to impress pointing out the flaws we try to hide. When guys say bad things about girls, you are just making the bad things we feel about ourselves concrete, which isn't always the best thing; just a thought you all should know so you can hopefully keep that in mind.

"Maggie Feller: If you're not going to wear them, don't buy them. Leave them for someone who will get something out of them.
Rose Feller: I get something out of them. When I feel down, I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good, and food just makes me fatter, but shoes always fit."

"I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight."

"My words confuse you
My eyes don’t move a blink
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be sincere
Somehow I make you believe
Believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
Honest is easy
Fiction is where genius lies
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be involved
Somehow I make you believe
Believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt."

love.

what i would give for this:

2007-02-25T07:56:17Z

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep,
Here.

..yea I'm going off of song lyrics, but whatever. You know I thought that moving out of Coral Springs would make things better with trying to find guys, but it doesn't..nope. It's pathetic, I feel like I'm this young and already giving up on trying to find someone worthwhile. I don't let guys get close in that way either because I don't trust them. I want someone that will feel for me the way the song says, but I feel like there's no guy that will be like that for ME or I won't let someone get like that for me because I won't give them enough of a chance. Eh, disregard this.

as quoted from that 70's show:

2006-05-20T05:19:57Z

"When I die, I want to be buried face down, that way all of you who don't like me can kiss my ass."

the classic things of my life

2006-01-10T04:19:26Z

trite in french: it feels so much later than eight
CoDeReD085: that's because it's 11
trite in french: OMG

today has been so weird. that's all i can say

i've come to the realization

2005-11-30T05:19:27Z

people don't eat with their mouths closed anymore

that's really gross

craziest thing just happened

2005-11-20T03:50:12Z

things are crazy up here!! **amanda says it's down here because apparently since lousiana is considered the south, it doesn't matter the real direction it took to travel here** anyways amanda needs a place to live..right? well there is a house next to me, so guess who's gonna be living there?? **any smart ass comments and i'll kick your ass** anyways, we're cool and you can be too if you really want.

amanda has a big butt. i know i do too, but amanda refuses to admit that she does, so it must be said

things are cool

i'm in lousiana

2005-11-19T14:58:08Z

amanda sat on a dingdong last nite

codered085 @ 2005-10-30T13:30:00

2005-10-30T18:38:50Z

have you ever wished you could just put you life in a freeze frame? why does it always seem that these are the moments that i don't figure out until it's too late? it seems like i finally get things figured out in my life, then something else pops into it, or i do something that scrambles everything back up again.

one thing i have figured out though is things start out so simply at the begining. while i may feel i don't change, things around me always are. i just have to mold myself to these changes without losing who i am. **a lot easier said than done**

i learned i don't need the people i thought i did

2005-10-22T21:19:38Z

last nite was amazing

copasetic was incredible..again

they're all really nice to which makes liking them easy - you can tell they love what they do

i met some really nice people

i now know that i don't have to depend on the people i thought i couldn't live without

codered085 @ 2005-10-18T23:26:00

2005-10-19T03:27:25Z

i'm ready to leave

all this

right now

it's all just bullshit

yeaa

2005-09-07T02:59:18Z

it's always pleasent to hear nice things said about you

what i came home to..

2005-08-31T02:59:28Z

"Congratulations! You have been offered admission to UCF for the Fall 2006 term."

I'm happy

a message for all you cool people

2005-08-18T03:41:04Z

come see AUTUMN and COPASETIC this saturday (aug. 20th) at 7:00 pm @ solid sound studios. check www.solidsoundstudiosinc.com for directions. its going to be a great show and its our first back as autumn so please come and dont miss out!!!

answer me this..

2005-07-23T19:14:24Z

Yea this is another one of those..I'm not saying all girls don't act like this, but guys and even girls too..honestly - why do you put on an act of caring just so you could totally go against all the things you said you stood for just so you can 'go for the gold'? You listen to all these songs telling how much that singer cares for a person, but is there really someone like that out there. I mean honestly, don't hold a someone's hand if you don't mean it, don't make yourself to be a sweet person when your just a jackass underneath waiting to get out, and don't shut someone out after you get with them. If you want to make a person feel like shit, do that, but sooner or later karma will get you, and not only will you feel the pain of what that person left you with, but all those other people you did it to will come back to haunt you.

you know what..

2005-07-21T04:50:36Z

i don't know why i am doing this but what the hell..this is what this stupid thing is for right?
So basically I was feeling at the begining of the summer like screw guys they're all jerks. Then I met a cute boy, and he acted like the most caring guy and I was like this is too good to be true. And it was. So I started feeling the same way again, but I got over it. Now someone who I thought was a good guy friend was a jackass - but not as big as the jackass of the century I met - and I've come to these conclusions:
a. guys are fucking jerks and if someone can prove that wrong, then i'll change my mind
b. like harry said in when harry met sally - "guys can't be friends with girls, b/c they're too busy wanting to hook up with them"

fucking jackass

cool

2005-06-20T03:22:58Z

my grandparents were down for the weekend, and i just realized how amazing they are. i always hear them talking but i guess i never really listened because the things they've done were so incredible. especially my grandpa. we got him a navy book for father's day because he was a part of that and he loved it - he didn't have to say it, just the fact that he was intrenched in it for hours explained it all. i used to always think that he just talked for hours about nothing but it really is amazing. I guess i really want to get to know him and my grandma before they die - i've learned you can't take people for granted, and i'm glad i did because then i wouldn't get to know and hear some awesome stories.

tomorrow is the first real day i get to sleep in this summer.

i got my ears pierced again.

codered085 @ 2005-06-10T23:23:00

2005-06-11T03:25:08Z

so i'm supposed to take the act tomorrow, but i have no idea what time it's at, plus i'm all drugged up on medicine..this should be interesting

codered085 @ 2005-05-24T22:31:00

2005-05-25T02:50:08Z

Why don't we all just try being honest for once in a while? Why do we always find it necessary to play little cat and mouse games? Why can't people tell the truth? So I've learned not to trust what people promise me until I actually am seeing the promise be fulfilled - I mean everyone goes back on what they promise or promise something they aren't sure of - either way they break it, so why believe people?

My dog learned how to jump on to our counters today and the stuffed mushrooms my mom was making for dinner apparently were pretty good because when I came in and saw her up there, I also saw she was making a pretty good meal out of them. Cool.

SAT's coming up soon..

excellent

2005-05-22T21:29:56Z

so i started working yesterday and i love it. I've never had so much fun working and I'm going to work tonight and I can't wait! Never have I actually wanted to go to work and I guess things happen for a reason because even though I've never been busier, I'm having so much fun.

life lesson

2005-05-08T18:46:25Z

Never trust what people say..

"You dream of colors that have never been made,
You imagine songs that have never been played.
They will try to buy you and your mind.
Only the curious have something to find.

Your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day.
Entrance is crucial and it's not without pain.
There's no path to follow, once you're here.
You'll climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs."

it's like the twlight zone

2005-05-07T20:29:49Z

so yesterday we got that new tv thing which is cool because now i have 5 different versions of each music channel (maybe there will actually be music on one of them). And it's really cool and all, but i have no clue how to work the thing so all I get to watch is fuzzy black static.

Teachers are mean because at the time when nobody wants to work they stack on all the projects. Stupid.

I'm not quite sure yet if I got the job, but if I didn't does anyone have suggestions, because for some reason I have a feeling it's going to fall through.

codered085 @ 2005-04-22T21:26:00

2005-04-23T01:27:55Z

in a couple of weeks does anyone want to come to a party with me and pretend to be my boyfriend..any takers..i need YOUR HELP..answers now..details later..oye i don't know what i get myself into

breaking news!!

2005-02-22T03:23:57Z

I know this shouldn't be something I just shout out there for everyone to know but I must..Lauren smells really bad and if you see her coming down the street you should run the opposite way..really fast. Jessica also kind of smells but that's just because she hangs out with Lauren.

codered085 @ 2005-01-25T15:59:00

2005-01-26T00:00:41Z

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codered085 @ 2005-01-10T16:17:00

2005-01-10T21:19:59Z

why me..why this..why now..i need a break..or maybe i've just had a break and now i'm back to reality?